


Sacrifices

by thesmolestnerd



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brain Damage, Brain Surgery, Bullying, Caretaking, Disabled Character, Epilepsy, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Frustration, Gentle Kissing, Gentle Sex, Healing, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, I think I have a problem, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Intimacy, Joel is a good dad, Major Character Injury, Mental Anguish, No magical cure, Recovery, Seizures, Sexual Frustration, Smut, Soft Girlfriends, Surgery, Tender Sex, The Author Regrets Everything, bed wetting, but not the sexy kind, dina is a good girlfriend, ellie needs a hug, good!abby, i dunno, im really glad none of my irl friends know about this, joel still kills the fireflies probably, marlene is full of regret, soft ellie, this should be a tag, well they know about it they just don't ever look at it, why do all my characters get brain damaged?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:55:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24261688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesmolestnerd/pseuds/thesmolestnerd
Summary: The procedure to get the piece of Ellie's brain to make the cure didn't kill her. But it did change her.Joel manages to get brain damaged Ellie to Jackson and works to figure out how to keep her alive and give her a normal life.
Relationships: Abby & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Jesse (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel (The Last of Us)
Comments: 76
Kudos: 293





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been floating around in my head for ages...I don't really know where I'm going to go with this. Let me know what you think.

The first thing Ellie was aware of, was a pain in her chest. Her ribs ached. 

“There she is.” Ellie cracked her eyes open. A man in scrubs…a doctor, maybe…stood over her. He squeezed her shoulder. “You feeling okay, kid?” 

“Where’s Joel?” she asked trying to sit up. “Who-who are you people?” A lady pushed Ellie’s shoulder down.

“Relax. We’re with the Fireflies. You’re safe,” she said. Ellie relaxed a little. 

“Joel?” she asked. 

“The man you were with is fine. He got knocked around a little. He’ll be okay,” said the woman. Ellie nodded and leaned back. 

“We’re going to do a few tests to determine if you can work to make a cure just from the some we’ve taken or it we need a bigger sample,” said the man. Ellie nodded. “Some doctors are reviewing a scan of your brain. We’re gonna take a sample of your spinal fluid.” Ellie gulped. 

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” said the women. “We’re gonna numb you up and then it’s just a pinch.”

The doctors rolled Ellie on her side and pushed her knees up to her chest. 

Ellie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could feel them cleaning off a spot on her back. One of the doctors sticks her with a needle. Ellie let out a small grunt. 

“Good job,” said one of the doctors. They lied about it not hurting too much. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” said Ellie. They finished up. 

“Stay laying down. We’ll come back to check on you.” The lady patted your leg. 

Ellie rolled on her side. She wanted Joel. She was lonely and scared. Ellie pushed her face into the pillow. 

Her body felt weird. She was tired. Her chest hurt. She blinked and her eyes slowly closed. 

She woke up in big white room with many masked people around her. Ellie jerked forward and tried to sit up. Straps held her down. She panicked and kicked and squirmed trying to get out of the restraints. 

“Hey, hey, relax,” said one of the doctors. Ellie tried to get out and screamed. 

“Hey. It’s okay,” said the doctor. “Things are fine. We’re just—”

“Don’t try to make her feel better. Just knock her out.”

“No!”  
************************************************************************************  
Ellie blinked awake again. She let out a moan. Her mouth felt dry. She felt…heavy.

“Ellie. Ellie, hey, babygirl?” It was Joel. But she couldn’t open her eyes. “Hey. You’re okay. Don’t try to talk.” Ellie reached around with one of her hands, trying desperately to cling onto something familiar. One of Joel’s hands settled on Ellie’s cheek. 

“Relax, kid,” he said. Tears started dripping down her face and her body shook with silent sobs. 

“I think she’s awake,” said Joel.

“No,” said another voice Ellie didn’t recognize. “It’s unlikely she’s actually cognizant. She shouldn’t feel anything right now.” Ellie wanted to scream. Everything hurt. Her head did. Her best. Her back. She wanted Joel. She wanted him to hold her. She wanted her dad. 

“Oh, shhh,” said Joel. He wiped off her face as tears dripped down her face. “Easy, baby girl.”  
******************************************************************************  
“What did you do to her?” Joel was yelling.

“They took out a chunk of her brain. What did you expect?” snapped Marlene.

“You said it wouldn’t kill her,” snapped Joel.

“I said that it hadn’t killed her. It could’ve killed her,” she said. 

Ellie let out a soft moan. No yelling. A hand rubbed her shoulder.

“Easy,” said Joel gruffly. Ellie titled her head towards the hand. “You gonna wake up for me, baby girl?” Ellie sighed. 

“Get out of here, Marlene,” said Joel. 

“Look, Joel— ”

“No,” he yelled. “No. Don’t you…You tuned a perfectly good kid, into a vegetable! For what? Maybe a cure?”

“This was our only chance! Do you think I wanted to—” Her sentence was interrupted by the sound of skin hitting skin. 

“The only reason I haven’t taken her and left is because she needs real doctors…but if she doesn’t get better soon…I’m taking her. If she’s gonna die…” Joel swallowed a sob. “It ain’t gonna be here.”

Ellie moaned again. Her hand twitched. Joel rubbed Ellie’s cheek.

“Easy, kid,” he whispered. Ellie blinked her eyelashes sticking together. “There she is. How are you doing, baby girl?”

Joel looked clean, but haggard. He had deep lines on his face, like he hadn’t been sleeping. Ellie lifted up a shaky hand. She didn’t even manager to lift her hand up enough to grab Joel’s shirt. He grabbed her hand and squeezed. 

“Can you squeeze my hand?” Ellie’s finger tapped the back of his hand. “Yeah. Good job. Good.” Ellie’s eyes drifted around the room. “Can you answer some questions? One Squeezed for yeah, two for no? Can you do that, baby girl?” Ellie could feel her head getting heavier and her eyes beginning to droop again. “Is that too much? Are you too tired, El?” Ellie’s eyes dropped close and her hand relaxed, only staying in Joel’s because of his firm grip. He kissed the back of her hand. “Love you, baby girl…we’re gonna be okay…I prom—”


	2. Chapter 2

Ellie stared at herself in the mirror. She pushed her hair from her face and sighed. She could see her right hand shaking and balled it into a fist before shaking it off. 

“Are you dressed up?” asked Joel with a light knock on the door. Ellie jumped. 

“Fuck, Joel. What the fuck?” she said. 

Joel pushed the door of Ellie’s room opened and grinned, leaning up against the door. 

“You meetin’ someone special at the party?” he asked. 

“Fuck off,” said Ellie. Ellie straightened out her flannel. She sighed, tracing the long scar down the side of her head. She ruffled up her hair making it fall over the thick scar that stretched down from the top of her head behind her ear. 

“Is Dina gonna be there?” Joel asked. 

“I-I don’t need a babysitter,” said Ellie, pretending that Dina wasn’t the reason she had dressed up to begin with. 

“You don’t need a babysitter. I’d just feel more comfortable if you girls were together,” he said. “I know you don’t like parties…I can’t imagine how Dina convinced you to go.” Ellie rolled her eyes and buttoned up her flannel all the way with only her left hand, her right one hanging out of her pocket. She turned around and brushed past Joel through the door. 

“Take your cane,” he said. Ellie rolled her eyes and snatched it from his hand.

She reached out to open the front door.

“Ellie!” 

“Dina,” said Ellie. She smirked. “Bye.” Ellie walked out to the living room. 

“Look at you,” said Dina. She walked into the living room up so close to Ellie she could lean in and kissed her. Ellie’s face went red from the proximity. Dina leaned in with a smirk and fiddled with Ellie’s shirt collar. “Ready? Let’s go.”

It was starting to get warmer out as spring turned to summer. It smelled like trees and farm from the livestock. The quiet hum of talking got louder as they walked closer to the barn. 

Ellie hated the parties normally. There were too many people, and they were too loud. But Dina…Dina made everything better.

“What?” asked Dina. Ellie realized she was grinning at Dina like an idiot.

“Just, um, just excited,” said Ellie. Dina grabbed Ellie’s hand and squeezed it. She could hear the music as they got closer and closer to the town hall.

“Hey, Dina!” Jesse yelled from the door. Ellie bit her lip. Fucking Jesse. “Hi, Ellie.” He didn’t even look at her. He was just staring at Dina. 

“Hey Jesse,” she said. 

“Glad you could make it,” said Jesse, eagerly. Ellie tried not to look peeved as he got all close to Dina. Dina smiled hollowly. 

“Want some moonshine?” he asked. Dina smiled and plucked it from his hand. 

“God yes.” She took a sip and grimaced and offered it to Ellie. 

“I thought Ellie couldn’t drink,” said Jesse.

“Ellie can do whatever she wants,” said Dina. 

“I mean, I thought Joel said—” Ellie gulped down the moonshine.

“I dunno why you like to make Joel worried. He really cares about you, and he’s only trying to do right by you,” said Jesse.

“None of your business,” said Ellie. Jesse took the glass from Ellie and chugged the last bit of it down.

“I’m not trying to be a dick,” said Jesse.

“J-just because you idol-idolism him doesn’t mean I do,” said Ellie. Jesse lifted up his hands in surrender. 

“Whatever,” said Jesse. Dina rolled her eyes and grabbed Ellie’s hand. 

“You’re just jealous,” said Dina. She grabbed Ellie’s hand and dragged her to the middle of dance floor, wrapping them around her waist. 

“Jessie means well, you know,” said Ellie. Dina snorted. 

“Okay.” She nuzzled her nose into Ellie’s neck and swayed them softly to the music. 

“Are-are you two going to get back together again?” asked Ellie. Dina chuckled. 

“Have you ever considered that Jessie isn’t the one I want?” 

“Uh.” Ellie’s bad leg bent under her. “Shit!” Dina caught her by her elbow. 

“Easy,” said Dina. “Do you need to sit down?” Ellie shook her head. 

“No just…give me a second,” said Ellie. Ellie shook off her leg, trying to ride out the spasm. Dina’s hand slid down Ellie’s back. She kneaded the tightly wound muscles at the juncture of her thigh and butt. Ellie exhaled hard. “Thanks.” Dina smiled softly.

“Of course.” Dina looked up and smiled at her.

“Th-thank you for being such a good friend,” said Ellie. Dina smiled.

“How would you like to be more than just friends?” Ellie’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“Wh-what?” Dina leaned forward and kissed Ellie on the lips. Ellie relaxed into the kiss. Dina leaned back and pressed her forehead to Ellie’s. 

“Was that okay?” Ellie nodded so quickly the two bumped heads. “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long…” 

“I never thought…th-thought I’d be good enough for you,” said Ellie. Dina shook her head. 

“You’re too good for me,” said Dina. Ellie grinned.

“Great. We have another loudmouth dyke in town.” Ellie flipped around. Seth was standing there sipping some whiskey, clearly drunk. 

“What did you say?” asked Ellie darkly. 

“Ellie.” Dina reached out to grab Ellie but she wormed away.

“Fucking say that again, asshole,” said Ellie. Seth stumbled back. “Are you scared of me? Are you scared of the cripple you bigoted asshat?” 

“Hey!” said Maria. “Back up, Seth.” Dina reached up to grab Ellie’s arm. 

“Hey,” murmured Dina. “Come on…” Ellie nodded and rubbed her face. Dina wrapped her hand around Ellie’s and tugged her out the door. Ellie followed after her. Dina kissed Ellie’s cheek and pulled her out the door behind.

“Take me to your house,” said Dina. She pinned Ellie to the wall and kissed at her neck. Ellie moaned. 

“K-kay…” said Ellie.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some ideas for this story (a lot of them are actually going to involve Abby. If you hate good!abby let me know and i might reconsider).
> 
> If anyone wants to hear any ideas, hit me with a comment. 
> 
> Thanks

Dina helped Ellie lower herself to the bed. Dina leaned over her and kiss her on the cheek and down her neck. Dina rolled over Ellie and straddled her. Ellie yelped in surprised. She smirked and rubbed her nose along Ellie’s.

“Thank you for standing up for me,” said Dina. “Hot.” 

“I—um—” said Ellie. Dina smiled and leaned over kissing her again. Ellie ran her hands up Dina’s ass and over her back. “So pretty. G-god.” Dina chuckled. Ellie pushed herself down lower and pulled on the waistband of her pants. 

“Eager,” said Dina. Ellie nodded. 

“Less clothes. Now,” said Ellie.

“Ooooh. Bossy,” said Dina. Ellie pulled down Dina’s pants and underwear.

She’d seen Dina naked before, but not like this.

Dina looked absolutely stunning. Her body was slender and muscled. She had faint scars and blemishes across her chest and abdomen. Ellie looped her arms under Dina’s legs and pulled Dina so she was sitting on her face.

“Ellie, I don’t want to hurt—” She let out a long moan.

Ellie’s nose pressed into Dina’s clit as her tongue prodded at the hole. Dina fell forward with a gasp trying not to crush Ellie, Ellie making it harder by nipping at the inside of her thighs. 

“God, Ellie, babe, fuck!” Dina ground down on Ellie’s face. Ellie ate her out like a starving woman. Dina ran her hands though Ellie’s hair and pulled softly. “You’re doing such a good job. I love when you—” Dina moaned again and jerked on Ellie’s hair. Ellie pressed her fingers into Dina’s thighs.

“You’re so beautiful. So strong. I never thought you’d like me back,” said Dina. “I hate seeing you with Cat. She treated you like a fucking child. It made me so mad. You deserve so much better. You deserve someone who treats you like an adult. Like the goddamn hero you are—” Dina’s body shook and moaned. Ellie tried not to suffocate on Dinna’s pussy. 

Ellie felt warm. Both physically and emotionally. Dina’s thighs crushed Ellie’s head burying her face between Dina’s thighs. Her face with slick with Dina’s lubrication. She squeezed Dina tight against her. She wanted to be completely surrounded by Dina. She had loved Dina for so long. Finally she could show her. 

Ellie traced the alphabet on Dina’s clit. Dinna arched her back.

“Ellie! God,” said Dina. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She looked down at Ellie and smiled. “Are you doing okay down there?” Ellie gave her a thumbs up. “God, I’m so close.” Dinna leaved over and sighed. Ellie reached over and pinched her nipple. “Fuck!” Dina started grinding faster and hardder on Ellie’s face.

Dina’s gasped and leaned forward shaking and squeezing Ellie’s head with her legs and pitching forward, rolling off of Ellie, panting. Dina slid down, grabbed Ellie’s face and pulled her into the kiss. Dina groaned at tasting herself in Ellie’s mouth.

Dina slid a hand under Ellie’s shirt. Ellie reached over and grabbed her hand, shaking her head. Dina nodded and smiled at her pecking her on the cheek.

“That felt so good, babe,” said Dina. “Thank you.” Ellie nodded. “You’re perfect.” Dina propped herself up on her elbow. She traced her fingers down Ellie’s side. “You doing okay?” Ellie nodded.

“Yeah. A little…winded…” said Ellie. Dina rolled her eyes and kissed her. 

“You need to take it easy,” said Dina. Ellie stuck her tongue out. Dina rolled out of bed ad walked over to the fridge and grabbed a glass of water and sat back down. Ellie rolled over and pressed her face into Dina’s side. Dina scratched at Ellie’s scalp. 

“Did we go to fast?” asked Dina. Ellie opened an eye.

“Dina, I’m fine,” said Ellie. “I h-had a good time. Did you?” Dina smiled and nodded.

“I did. I did. It’s just…don’t freak out,” said Dina when she saw Ellie’s face. “I’m afraid that we moved too fast because I wanted to do this for so long. I just don’t wanna mess this up.” Ellie looked up at her and shook her head. 

“Y-you couldn’t mess this up, D,” said Ellie. Dina looked down at her and smiled and wiped up Ellie’s mouth.

“I’m so glad I have you now,” said Dina. Ellie traced a finger along Dina’s leg. “I’m going to pee and change into something else to stay the night.” Ellie nodded as Dina walked into and shut the bathroom door. 

Ellie pulled off her jeans and button up and threw them in the corner of the room. Ellie pulled up her waist band. She sighed and scooted over to the wall. 

Dina got out of the bathroom and pulled her hair out of her bun and shook her hair out. Dina crawled into bed next to her and kissed Ellie, deepening more and more. Ellie moaned. 

“You sure you don’t want me to reciprocate?” she asked. Ellie shook her head.

“Nah,” said Ellie. She tucked herself into Dina’s side. Dina nodded. 

“Night,” said Dina. Ellie nodded and closed her eyes.  
************************************************************************************  
Ellie woke up with a groan. Her head pounded. She blinked. Dina was kneeling in front of her by the bed. Ellie pushed herself up.

“Hey, easy,” said Dina. Ellie shifted and felt wetness in her boxers.

“Fuck…” Ellie rolled on her back and rubbed her face. “S-sorry.”

“It’s not a big deal,” said Dina. Ellie sat up and winced at the tightness in her muscles. Ellie looked down at her boxers.

“Yeah it is. I’m, fuck, I’m really sorry,” said Ellie. Dina sighed.

“Ellie, it’s fine.” Dina handed Ellie a clean pair of shorts.

“I fucking pissed myself,” said Ellie.

“You had a seizure,” said Dina. “It’s not your fault.” Ellie pushed herself up and rolled out of bed. Dina turned around as Ellie changed underwear and took and rolled up the dirty towel, which thankfully kept the bed sheets clean.

“I’m clean,” said Ellie. Dina turned around. Dina stepped closer and pressed her forehead to Ellie’s.

“I love you how you are,” said Dina. “I know you get embarrassed, but I’m not, okay?” Ellie nodded. “Your injury is not what defines you.” Ellie gulped and nodded.

“Okay.”

“I know you don’t believe me, but I really do mean it,” said Dina. 

“Okay.” Dina sighed and shook her head. She leaned in and kissed Ellie on the lips.

“You’ll believe me one day,” said Dina. Ellie shook her head.

“Whatever,” said Ellie. She rubbed her head. She had a pounding headache.

Dina reached over and grabbed the pipe off of Ellie’s desk and handed it to her with a lighter. Ellie took the pipe from her and took a hit coughing slightly. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall.

“Are you feeling better?” asked Dina. Ellie nodded. 

“A little.”

“Are you ready for breakfast?” asked Dina. Ellie reached over to her clock. 

“I have a shift in two hours so yeah, probably,” said Ellie. “Where’s my ca—” Dina held out Ellie’s cane. Ellie reached for it, but Dina held it behind her.

“Gimme a kiss?” said Dina. Ellie’s face softened. “Last night wasn’t a mistake, okay? I want to be with you.” Ellie nodded and pulled Dina’s lips to her. Ellie leaned her face into Dina’s shoulder.

“Love you,” said Ellie.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta da! Here it is.

Ellie ignored the nagging headache as she spilled out the water from the trough. One of the lambs “bah”ed and nudged the back of her legs. Ellie grimaced. Last night was great. But, God, she could feel it. Her shoulders hurt, and she could feel a migraine coming on. Ellie sighed and bent forward, trying to get more air in. She could see a weird aura around things. She was gonna seize again.

Ellie knew she should probably go and lay down before she ended up collapsing in the stables and eating shit. She slid down the wall in the dirt outside the barn and took a deep breath. She pushed her head into her knees.

“Ellie?” Ellie tried not to groan. Great. So much for just trying to wait it out.

“’m here,” said Ellie. She could hear the pad of Joel’s boots on the dirt. 

“You havin’ an episode?” he asked. Ellie nodded. “It’s fine. Just give me a minute.”

“Mhh,” said Joel. “Last night was too much?”

“Joel, I’m fine,” said Ellie. Joel shook his head.

“Can you get up?” asked Joel. Ellie shook her head.

“I’m fine,” said Ellie. “I just need a minute.” Joel shook his head and leaned down, pulling Ellie up and put her over his shoulder. 

“Joel!” yelled Ellie.

***

Ellie blinked.

“Joel, what the fuck?” said Ellie. Joel sighed.

“You just seized,” he said. Ellie looked around from the ground. Ellie groaned and pulled herself up. “Easy.” Ellie pushed him away and scrambled to her feet. The ground shifted, and she almost fell back to the ground. Joel picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. 

“Hey! What the fuck, old man?” said Ellie. Joel shook his head and carried her back to the house.

He laid her down on the couch and pulled off Ellie’s shoes.

“Joel, I’m fine,” said Ellie. Joel shook his head.

“You drank too much last night,” said Joel. “Lemme take care of you.” Ellie sighed and closed her eyes.

When she opened her eyes, Joel was standing over her with a glass of water and her pills.

“I don’t need the f-fucking pills, Joel,” said Ellie. Her head was starting to hurt. It felt like someone had shoved a hot poker in her eye and like her mouth was full of cotton. 

“Ellie…”

“We don’t h-have enough pills for m-me to have on every time I suh-seize,” said Ellie.

“Well, you were irresponsible, and I’m not gonna let you destroy what’s left of your brain because of it. Take your damn pills!” snapped Joel. Ellie felt something pull behind her forehead. She groaned and pushed her hand into her eye socket. 

“Fine.” Ellie reached over and took the pills from Joel with a grimace. She swallowed them and leaned back down on the pillow. “I’m not going to the room.” Joel sighed.

“It’s your room, kiddo,” he said. Ellie shook her head. Joel draped a blanket over her shoulders and tucked it around her, rolling her on her side and wedging her that way.

“Rest. I’ll come and check on you later,” said Joel. Ellie grumbled and closes her eyes. 

When she opened her eyes next, it smelled like food. The rich scents of the stew swept through the house.

“You awake, baby girl?” he asked from the kitchen. Ellie moaned. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” said Ellie. She rolled over. Her head was a lot less foggy. She sat up, and threw her legs over the side of the couch, rubbing her face. 

“Dinner?” Ellie shook her head.

“Not hungry,” she said. 

Joel walked in with a bowl and some bread.

“Well, tough, kiddo. You need to eat,” said Joel. Ellie shook her head. 

“I’m gonna throw up,” she said.

“Because you’re hungry,” said Joel. Joel sat down next to Ellie and put the tray of food on her lap.

“Joel…”

“Just try for me please,” said Joel. Ellie sighed and spooned some stew into her mouth. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose. The smell was supposed to be good. And she knew it was supposed to be good. Ellie gagged and shuddered.

“Can I, um, do you, uh…have a joint?” Joel nodded and sighed. He got up and pulled one from his back pocket and lit it for Ellie. 

“Thanks,” said Ellie.

“I’m sorry,” said Joel. “I know it isn’t that you just don’t want to. I know it’s hard.” Ellie nodded and leaned back, exhaling deeply.

“It’s fine, Joel,” she said. Joel nodded.

“You know you always have your room here,” said Joel. Ellie sighed.

“I know,” said Ellie. She squeezed her hand into a fist. 

“The room—your room isn’t meant to be a threat. I’m not going to force you back in there just because I think you’re not taking care you yourself. I know you can take care of yourself. I trust you,” said Joel. Elli closed her eyes.

“You say that now,” said Ellie. Joel sighed.

“I’m not the bad guy, Ellie. I just want you to be safe,” he said. “You don’t like to live back here, you can move in with Dina, if you’d like. You’re smart, Ellie. I support whatever you want.” Ellie nodded.

“I-I know, Joel,” said Ellie. Joel reached over and patted her knee.

“Love you, kiddo. You know that, right?” asked Joel. Ellie nodded.

“I love you too, Joel,” said Ellie. She gave him a tight smile. She reached and ate another bite of the stew.

“Thank you,” said Joel. He got up and walked back to the kitchen. Ellie put her spoon down and held her head. She wasn’t going to cry. Not over this. Not again 


End file.
